So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
