i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
