i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
