he thought i was a dude.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
