Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
