She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
