U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
ttyl tear gas
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My bed smells like the plague
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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