Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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