Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
