margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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