Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
