I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Farmville is her only friend.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize