He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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