im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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