Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
