he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
