I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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