how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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