____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
