Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Even my vagina gasped.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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