is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize