I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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