How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize