Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
