happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
