dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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