Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
