It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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