dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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