have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
