Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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