youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just want to make out with him forever
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize