i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
and you fell through a lawn chair
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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