And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
