omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
