why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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