I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
