Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I've blown a few things in my day
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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