Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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