i love accidental penises.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
