i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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