Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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