we're blogging at a bar
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
