My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize