i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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