How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
