I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
