i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
