Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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