i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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