Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
