he thought i was a dude.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
