I'm so fucking centered right now
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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