i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
