I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize