threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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