shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
