I hate your face
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize