I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
