i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
